Oh hey there!
Long time no see over here on the blog eh? Well, you would have had this content yesterday had I not had an absolute write off of a day which included anything and EVERYTHING going wrong. Fully ready to publish blog post deleting itself and all...
So this is attempt number two at sharing this. If you're reading it then hooray - today is already a better day!
If you follow me over on Instagram you'll already know that it's been all systems go behind the scenes over here at ONR HQ. I've got content filmed & planned to share super soon for the rather lovely new bathroom and kitchen {including a little DIY parquet flooring tutorial that I'm excited about} AND of course a tour of the nursery too! So do stick around, things are about to get a lot more interesting around here, pinky promise!
Today however I thought I'd share a little barrel bellied life update with you all as I shared one of the pics my best babe Gemma took of me last week over on insta and there were lots of lovely requests to see more of the pics she took!
Initially when Gemma suggested doing a little maternity shoot I was all 'nooooo thank you, I can't think of anything I'd like to do less than have pictures to commemorate how freaking enormous I am right now...and also it'll be toe curlingly cringy'. However some gentle encouragement from Gem and also plenty of messages from people telling me they wish they'd got more pictures of themselves whilst pregnant persuaded me to rethink my stance.
Having done it, and seen the pictures Gemma captured of me - I'm so pleased I went against my better judgement and listened to the pals because I really really love them. I think the fact that they were shot by a really close pal {& wizard behind a camera} was a huge help as I felt relaxed and confident rather than self conscious and awkward which I'd imagined I would.
If there's one thing you can always count on me for it's a good old dose of honesty/over sharing, and when it's come to pregnancy I've felt all the feels. It's been a real journey for me - not only in terms of the really fun 'symptoms' it entails {more on those at a later date} but mostly around body image. I've always known I wanted to be a mother and I've been itching to start a family for years - so I thought about it all over and over in my head hundreds of times. How much my body would change, how that'd feel etc etc. The reality was so far detached from what I'd expected to feel it sort of knocked me for six!
I'd always thought once I was pregnant my thoughts about my body would change completely. What I looked like wouldn't matter to me at all because the bod was doing amazing things...and after all the most important thing at the centre of it all is the little bub. All of that is of course completely true, that's how I should feel...it's kind of how I do feel...but at the same time, seeing my body change beyond recognition so rapidly and so vastly was a bit of a shock to the system. Especially when I'd spent the past 4/5 years really focusing on my fitness. It felt like all of my hard work was being undone right before my eyes.
I found myself really hating the way I looked. Partly due to the fact that I've found it IMPOSSIBLE to find nice, comfortable maternity wear that fits, but mostly because my body was rapidly expanding and changing and all of it was completely outside of my control. I've gained nearly 4 stone - which compared to everyone else I've spoken to seems to be double what people usually put on...which is really fun, but I just keep having to remind myself that everyone's bodies and pregnancies are completely unique...and to not compare constantly!!
It's pretty much taken the entire 9 months for me to accept where I'm at, and I guess accept that my body really is doing something magical, and I should be really proud of it. That's not to say I'm not looking forward to getting my body back - and I don't just mean my figure, but just my 'self' - I do feel like a bit of a vessel and it'll be nice to just be me again, with the babe on the outside!!
At 39 weeks now we're so ready to meet this little fella, but I'm fully anticipating he'll keep us waiting because 'baby will come, when baby is ready!' as my hypnobirthing affirmations keep telling me! I'm trying to enjoy these last few precious moments - even the vicious kicks and punches! Because before I know it, he'll be here and life will be a whole new ball game!
So without further ado here are a few of the snaps Gemma captured of me & the beach ball. Here's to getting these out at any opportunity as he grows up to embarrass him in front of his pals and reminisce at how youthful I once was!
Thank you Gem, you're an epic babe xx